It was just too hard to resist. The feeling that she got everytime he was around was almost ecstatic. It was so because she didn't know what she felt. Everyone she knew told her that it was perfect . That is how it had to be.
She knew she had to think about it . She knew she would fall a prey again to the addiction of this seeming ecstasy. But at times. knowing is not everything. And so she just silenced herself to keep enjoying the feeling. Strangely, she did not dream . And even when she did, they were not together in those dreams. But she just felt that she should keep it going. As far as she could. As long as he would.
She planned, however, for them. Him and her. And she figured that made him happy. So she continued. Though she was always unsure of the expressions. She thought she knew. That she knew pretty well. It was interesting that she was both unsure and confident at the same time. Being unsure of things was almost inherent for her . She was never ever sure. Of anything. More so, of him.
He wanted perfection. That's what made him attractive. But perfection was a word from another world for her. He knew it for long . And she knew that he knew.
And she also knew when he started pretending that he didn't know. When he suddenly wanted to not-know all that he knew.
She felt ominous as she sat down waiting for him. Waiting for him to get up. For some reason, she had been up for long.
In a while, they were conversing . She could see him . Clearly.
And she had noticed it again ! And she sensed there wasn't much point not talking about it .
She asked him "What are you looking at ?"
He answered, "Nothing. Just outside the window "
"Why ? ", she probed .
He had to answer, not- looking outside the window, "Oh... for better things".
Then she knew, she had to look outside their window .