Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hold my hand ..

I couldn't stop smiling from the time I had spotted him that day. He was almost the perfect guy. He was strong, intelligent, well-read, kind and had a good sense of humor . And fairly enough, I had a crush-type-of-a-thing on him . I wanted to make sure I looked alright before I got talking to him.
Not that he bothered even slightly, but I did not want to take a chance !

We hit a Barista after I insisted. He seemed to be lost in some thought. He wasn't quite the same person that I knew! Though he smiled a lot more than he did previously, he spoke differently. It felt as though he wanted to talk a lot but he was at a loss for words. Being the very articulate person that he was, this was strange! We talked randomly about different friends, movies , recession, real estate in bangalore and being down to earth . And then I told him how I felt that there was a difference in him .

He looked sharply into my eyes and looked away quickly. And he asked me if I believed in a single person having multiple personalities. I asked him if he meant some kind of a mental disorder !
He smiled slightly and I did think he looked quite good when he smiled. He went ahead and said that he felt like doing diametrically opposite things at the same time! It was a strange feeling, he mentioned, when he could easily see the action of two personalities simultaneously. While one personality wanted to reach out to all the ridiculous dreams and hopes and wishes and desires, the other personality would stand strong and think only about what made sense.
I heard every word he spoke. Even the nuances . The stress on different words .

I then asked him if it is not the same with everyone. Everyone had conflicting emotions and thoughts. The variation was probably only in the degree of conflict .

He smiled again . He said how his personalities were almost self-sufficient entities! If each of them had a different body, they would be well off on their own. It was more than just some contradictory emotions . And his botheration was about not being able to do justice to either of those two personalities with his single body ! He also asked me , 'who' exactly was bothering about not being able to do justice ? Was it one of the two personalities or was there another one !

The talk was getting heavier .But there were signs that it would rain. I asked him if he could drop me home.

15 comments:

Loong said...

I think it is what makes us different... everyone have their own contradiction...
Anyway, I like the way you write it...it is extremely simple and detail. Now, it is heavy thinking as well...
Can't wait to read your next piece.

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loop said...

@ Aravind , loong
Thanks :)
I hope it made some sense, though!

Shreekrishna said...

bombaat post as usual :)

I think most active people are composed of diametrically opposite entities. Sadly, I have never felt multiple personalities in me, probably because I am lazy :( .

I've heard two of my friends getting quite frustrated when the different personalities in them pull them in different directions .... It could get a messy situation to be in....

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loop said...

@ Shreekrishna
You must be some kind of a "sthitaprajna" then :P

@ Vishu
Its fun to see different interpretations . And at times a few interpretations totally surprise me.
As long as we don't associate a bias to any of those interpretations, we will be gud!

And yeah, it takes long to read someone's mind !

loop said...
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Anonymous said...

Ah finally you wrote about our first meeting. But honestly, I did not know you felt that way about me. I think we should pick up where we left off. :wink wink:

Chandrika said...
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Anonymous said...

Applause! :)

Piyush Sethia said...

Ah.. Finally, you going out on a date with the perfect guy :) Did it end with both of you getting wet in the rains together ;)

Piyush Sethia said...

On a more serious note, very well written post.. And precisely conveyed, the contradictions within us make us who we are.. Wonder where you get ideas from :)

loop said...

@ Piyush
Thanks!! :)
Hehe! the perfect guy is so elusive :P

I get ideas from people ;)

How have you been ??

Piyush Sethia said...

Well, perfect people are indeed elusive.. And the reason why finding 'The one' means learning to understand his/her imperfections, and live with it :)

I have been quite good. How life at ur end?? Yeah long time.. Where you these days??