Thursday, September 25, 2008

Its you and the roses

She was far more beautiful than he had imagined. And he was simply smitten . And all that he could see was her from then on . His ears had gone deaf. He could only see her . He saw her when she saw him. He saw her when she spoke to him. He saw her when she breathed. All that he did was to see her ..

He liked the color of her eyes, the way she ate, the way she smiled slightly , the way she looked when she laughed aloud , the way strands of hair adorned her forehead. Everything about her seemed too sweet to believe.

He wanted to hold her. He wanted to be with her forever. The breeze played with her hair, her skin glowed and that drove him mad. He felt possessed. He felt divine . He felt drunk .

It was time for her to go and he realised that he hadn't spoken a word . But now he had to ask her to stay . He went upto her . This time she had an indifferent expression . And all that he did was to see her ...



Monday, September 15, 2008

Siddhartha

So this book is about a seeker's journey towards enlightenment! He thinks, he learns, he unlearns, he struggles, he loses, he gains , he loves and he understands .
Parts of the book left me misty eyed and parts of it seemed to tie pieces of my life together in some strange way. Few books have had that effect on me .
A person is a sum total of all his experiences. Every small event has its place in shaping up the person's character . Every experience, thus has to be lived to its fullest . Has to be understood in its fullness as to how it affects the overall life . There are no disjoint events. No parts .

In his youthfulness ,Siddhartha talks about his strenghts -- "I can fast, I can wait and I can think" he says . The all-knowing, precocious , arrogant Siddhartha is finally a simple person who listens to a river that flows and finds his life's highest meaning.
I am not sure if the author was trying to show how life humbled Siddhartha or if Siddhartha became humble at all .

As I saw, he had just gotten more curious ! And so have I :)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Perspectives

So this is a multi angular love/crush/infatuation story ..
A, B, C, D are friends. Of a different kind. They don't know each other that well and all. But they are apparently close friends.
--
A :
I like B now . Probably its just a deep crush. But it feels like I want B now !
B mostly doesn't like me. Atleast not in that way. B still talks a lot to me. B probably still wants some other E .
C, I guess, likes me now . I used to long for C quite sometime back. Then C wanted D. And I warned C repeatedly that D wasn't probably very right for C. Now apparently C thinks the same. And C 's interest in me has grown significantly after C has come to know about the talks between me and B.
D is almost like me. D used to be worried about everything about C. But now D longs for C so much. D is also unhappy that C isnt the same anymore. D is adorable actually.
Btw, B and D share a platonic relationship.
I am supposed to be having an affair with some F. F is blissfully unaware of all my other gory tales. And I am not sure if I want to end it.
----
B:
I liked E. I probably still like E. E sort of turned me down. But I don't know if I should still think about E.
I don't know what A has in mind about me. Sometimes I feel A likes me. I don't know if I feel good about it . I am not sure if I like A and all that. Actually A is irritating. I do talk a lot to A :)
I don't know much about C. C seems cool . However C appears to be all worked up because of me and A talking. C is perhaps interested in A. But C is supposed to be interested in D . I am not very sure . Haven't heard anything about that from C or D. {You know my source :) }
And D . D is really sweet and I like D a lot ! I know D likes me a lot too . Though D hasn't spoken a word about C to me, we are quite close.
Btw me and D share a platonic relationship.
A is supposed to end an affair with some F . I think A will.
--
C :
I don't know why I am behaving this way with A . I think I like A. But I think A doesn't like me . A and B probably like each other now. They talk so much afterall ! Though both of them , sort of, denied (not clearly, cos I did not ask clearly) anything between them, I feel jealous !
Maybe I want to talk more to A.
I don't know much about B. Have heard about B from A and D. B seems okay . But these days I don't like B that much because B talks too much to A .
I had a deep crush/infatuation on D sometime back. But it has withered for some reason. And now I don't know how to handle it .
Maybe that is why I am trying to hold on to A to get away from D . But D has come to take it seriously. D is very nice actually. I don't know why I lost the initial interest !
Btw B and D share a platonic relationship.
A was involved with some F. A doesn't speak about it anymore.
--
D:
A is like how I want to be and how I dont't want to be. Sometimes me and A talk so much that I feel A is the most closest to me in this world. But I don't like A in so many things. I think A likes B and B also somewhat likes A. But internally I feel B should not like A . A is not alright for B !
I like B a lot ! We are very close. Though I don't talk about my personal confusions to B, I feel happy about our relationship. I feel very bad when B doesn't talk properly with me :(
And C . C was a big shock in my life. C had given me a feeling that C is interested a lot in me some time back. But somehow things don't seem the same way now. I have started liking C but don't know what C has in mind . I don't know how B would react to this . B will also probably like the idea. I feel scared to talk such stuff to B.
However A is very helpful and supportive in this whole matter :)
Btw me and B share a platonic relationship.
A was involved with some F. A doesn't speak about it anymore.
--

Awefully long non sense post ! Inspiration is heavily drawn from real life characters ;) The story however is fictional {if someone gets the "story" that is ;) }

Monday, September 08, 2008

Mist

It was getting colder.

Not that he had waited for too long, but every passing moment got him impatient. He tried to tell himself that all his fears were imaginary and that things were not different. Too bad that he could sense things about her. She was not all that predictable but it would be too less to say that he was extremely sensitive. He had not heard the usual spark in her laughter yesterday. He admitted to himself that there were days when he wasn't paying attention to all those details . So he wasn't sure if it was all over long back.
He rememebered that nothing was actually over. It was only his fear , he thought.

It was a misty morning and had it been any other day - which he hoped it eventually would be - he would have started clicking pictures to show them off to her. But today he had to wait for her. She always got there on time. And today was no different !

There she was walking swiftly towards him. Setting her hair right, smiling slightly, shiny-eyed .. she looked pretty , he thought. She thought so too .
After what seemed like a painfully long time, she got to him . Now he could see it clearly in her eyes. That it was all over .
It started drizzling. And thus no one could tell if there were tears in his eyes. Or if it was just rain.

She did not appear all that disturbed. Probably she had prepared for this day from a long time ! She probably had decided to wear his favorite lemony yellow salwar with the dangling earrings, the charlie perfume and the cute shiny bracelet. She did not talk much . There were uneasy smiles, sighs and deeper sighs throughout whatever little she spoke. And he had to just hear .
They sat there the whole day . No words spoken . And they thought they should start from there when it started pouring .
It was dark when she got home. She wanted to sleep .
Not that she was afraid of the dark . Still she preferred to sleep with a light on.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Light

Not that she was afraid of the dark. Still she preferred to sleep with a light on.
The previous evening , it had rained and the effect of it all wasn't over yet . She thought she needed more sleep.
She felt eerily calm. She had to spend the entire day all by herself. The thought thrilled her and scared her at the same time. Being alone would mean that she would uncontrollably get lost in the memories, dreams and dirty, ridiculous hopes! She thought if she was someone who could be influenced too quickly.
She remembered how they had walked around the garden in fainting daylight. In the dusk.. when there wasn't enough light to see everything clearly. For her the dusk had seemed to represent a lot of things ! Uncertainties, alternate realities, hidden fears, concealed sorrows, the unknowns, haunting decisions, escapism all seemed to have gotten weaved into dusk somehow.
And she had always loved that part of the day. As she had loved him .
She wondered if she was hungry or thirsty . She looked out of the window.
There was light .