Monday, May 26, 2008

Thank You, she said.

Thank You, she said .

After all the thoughts, dreams, nightmares, thrills and struggles, he heard that from her !

Both of them knew the challenges in a long distance relationship. And they were indeed serious about solving them all, because they thought the relationship mattered a lot to them. But they had also implicitly assumed that they would manage things in the right way.
When he flew to a place which was a few thousand kms away to fulfil his desire of building great buildings, she was left with a whole lot of her own self. And she quite liked the idea. The idea of being all by herself and still knowing that he is going to be with her, sooner than later ! More so because it was garnished by a mutual assurance that they would keep each other posted on everything that would happen with their lives.

Her excitement appeared to evaporate faster than it grew. She felt bored and was a faced with a lack of activity. It seemed as though she had nothing to do without him around. It was very hard to break her habit. Not that she was a person without any individual interests. Inspite of being involved in things that she was interested in, she felt that sense of void.
He did not have a very great time either. Though his work and the race of getting ahead took away most of his time, the little time he got apart from that was spent in her thoughts. He was not particularly good at the "keeping in touch" thing. So a lot of emails flooded his inbox and he had just enough time to write back to a few.
As time went by, she got used to her life minus him. Things were normal and the void had ceased to exist. She used to tell herself that she was feeling the absence of void ! Slowly they had drifted apart and she felt as though things were just fine this way.
He too had started feeling the coldness from her side . He did make his best attempts to communicate but then it was never whole hearted. He always had other more important things to do . And evidently she was not among his top priorities. He was beginning to accept the not-so-great state of their relationship.

As the days of his "coming back" were approaching, she found herself lost in thoughts about him and the future of their relationship. Not that she hated him or not even that she had no feelings for him. But then, neither did she feel special the same way she did before he had left. It has to be rebuilt, she thought. There was not anyway , they could take the relationship for granted.

For him, it was more overwhelming! He got chills on his back thinking about seeing her all over again! While he had accepted the fact that their relationship was not the same anymore, he secretly wished that she did not think the same way. His struggle to fulfil his desire had given him fruits and he thought the same way about the relationship. That he might eventually end up with something pleasant.

It was no easy time for both. The long years, the wait, the loneliness, the habits, the emails, the struggles, the warmth, the coldness, the mornings, evenings and nights, the moving away, the fear, the compromises.. For whatever they were , no one could be blamed.

So, when he indeed came back , they met ! She was trying to hard to prepare to talk to him clearly on what she thought. But he had started talking. He spoke at length about his dream and how it had almost gotten fulfilled and how he had tried his best to keep in touch inspite of his other pressing stuff. He told her that he felt that the relationship had somewhat slipped from his hands and seemed to have less meaning at that point . He was about to talk more on what he thinks about the future of their relationship, how he seeks to correct it all while he saw her cutting across his talk to speak something.

Thank You, she said .

After all the thoughts, dreams, nightmares, thrills and struggles, he heard that from her ! And he spoke no further because he was unsure what she meant.

They both were seen together for long even after the episode , but no one heard what they actually spoke ;)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Two words and a smiley

She just wondered if people thought about her the same way that she thought about them. She seemed confident, able to take anything in her stride, cool , composed and smart.
That is how she seemed to be.
But there was more to that. She had this trait of getting obsessed about anything that she laid her hands on. Even about people with whom she talked to, places that she went to, food that she ate, the movies that she saw ! It wasn't any easy task for her to think clearly about all these and kick off those obsessions.
Since she was aware of this problem with her, she made it a point to maintain distance from people. Getting close to anyone meant being weary and thus sad , sooner or later.
But she thought, he was a different kind. This time it wouldn't be the usual way. He wasn't someone about whom she could get obsessed or get addicted to. It seemed to her as though she knew the reasons quite clear. Not that she ventured deeper to make sure .
And thus she spoke away to him. For days and months. She did not care what she spoke. Even if it meant that he was extremely bored listening to her. She just assumed that he would understand her the right way. But then, he was just like anyone else.
Yet again , she had made the mistake of over rating someone ! His idea about her had changed hugely over the time and obviously it wasn't like how she thought it would be.
While she thought she should get over him, she still could not let go her habit of talking anything and everything to him . She cherished a secret hope that, probably he still thought about her in the right way, as someone who actually mattered to him.

As always she spoke about a lot of things to him and as always he was awfully slow at responding to her. It had almost become the way they talked. Talking to her was something that he did along with something that was more important to him.
She asked him what he thought about their relationship. And there came an answer, which had two words and a smiley.
Nothing serious :)